04 March 2011

10:05

It was generally a quiet night last night. I'm a light sleeper, though, which usually means if anyone so much as farts it's enough to wake me. Last night was the the first time I double checked the lock on the front door was on, then five minutes later triple checked, just to set my over-active mind at ease. It was fine.

I woke up about 2 in the morning to scratching noises. Couldn't quiet tell where it was coming from. One minute it sounded like it was upstairs, the next as though it was the front door. The thought of something scratching at the front door sent the tiniest of shivers down my spine. I pretended there was no scratching sounds and drifted off to sleep.

I don't quiet remember my dream, but I do remember that it was something disturbing. My stomach was tight and my mind was somewhere else, figuratively speaking, of course. To suggest otherwise would be insane, right?

12.32

I know it's probably nothing (famous last words), but I went to the toilet, and done my business, then went to flush there seemed to be more blood in the pan than usual. 100% more blood. Wonder if it's related to my stomach ache? I should be more worried, but I've had it once before, last year, when I just pushed too hard. That's all it'll be; fingers crossed.

14:16

Went to the lounge and looked out the window. That Mercedes van is sitting outside, right next to mine. I wonder how long it has been there. The street is quiet today, not that many cars. Of all the cars to next to, why mine? Calm down brain, don't leap to conclusions.

21:41

The female one upstairs returned around 5. She has a really bad stoop. I don't know why I haven't noticed it before. I stood at the front door looking out, on and off, for a few hours. She came up the stairs and I swear I've never seen anyone make walking look so difficult. It's as though she's not used to the body. You don't want to know what I'm thinking about my last statement.

It's funny, but when you pass blood for the first time, you panic a little, the second time implies there has to be more than mere coincidence but at the same time you've been there before, you kind of know what to expect. I've been scared to fart ever since my last bloody episode. Feels different from the first time.

23:46

The black Mercedes is still outside. I moved my car though, round about 10 when it was dark and safe. Safe from what? I don't know. It just feels safer in the dark. The van windows really are dark. I tried to get a look inside but I couldn't see a thing.