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Wednesday 29 June 2011
10:00

I'm thinking of returning to the school tonight, to see if the body is still there. I don't know if it's a good idea, but I have to find out if anyone has noticed a corpse lying in a school bin. There's been nothing on the radio about it. That said, there's been nothing on the radio but doom and gloom. Radio 1 is still going, but there's a lot of static when you turn the dial on the old analogue box. Real radio has gone, Your Radio has gone, as well as other stations that hadn't paid their DJ's six figure sums to wax their big fat cat arses. It's not going to make a whole lot of difference, all that money, when the zeds eventually break the doors down and eat what little brains is broadcasting the mediocre chart shite over the waves.

14:20

This town is going mental, it's like something out of a movie, and a bad one at that. I remember watching the news a few years ago when people were looting shops in America, yes that's right America, not over here in the UK, so it was ok to watch it and sit back in our sanctimonious armchairs pointing our condescending fingers at the apparently lesser developed societies. Ha, ha, it's happening right here, on our own doorstep.

From what I saw earlier, from a safe distance obviously, the living still outnumber the living-dead. But only just.

I walked to currys electrical retailer down at the waterfront to see if I could get myself a DAB radio (buy mind, not steal) but it was closed. It wasn't shut for very long as I watched four plucky young lads and two girls approach the shop front. They were teenagers, and they'd come tooled with bricks and metal bars. The oldest boy, he looked about seventeen, threw a brick right through one of the glass doors setting off the alarm. His little gang of boys and girls cheered. Where were the police anyway? Pushing fucking pencils, doing paperwork that'll keep them out of harms way until it all subsides. Bah!

The lad who'd just launched the brick stepped into the shop and beckoned the others to follow. Without any question, they followed him into the shop, stopping only for a quick look around to make sure no-one was coming.

I watched the door they'd entered, and wondered how long they'd be, and what they'd be bringing back out.

Five minutes had passed when I heard the first scream. The younger of the two girls came running out of the door, only she didn't quite clear the broken glass of the door frame. She hit it with such force it spun her round and she did a sort of a pirouette before landing face down on the paving stones outside. She was covered in blood, it was horrible, her legs, arms , body and face all a bloody mess. I stood up to make my way toward her and instantly squatted back down when I saw, what I assume was, an employee of the store emerge from the shop. He cut himself on the glass too, but it didn't stop him, it didn't even seem to register with him. The girl was shaking uncontrollably and turned to look at the man approaching her. That was the last thing she saw as the thing lunged at her, biting flesh from her face. One of her eyes came away in his mouth, the eye stalk dangling from his lips. He slurped up the skin and chewed on the eyeball like it was a piece of gum. He held her by the wrist so she couldn't get away, and she eventually stop trying. A short time after that, she stopped moving at all. He started ripping skin from her neck, and I'm sure I heard it even from a distance, that's when I looked away.

I didn't help her. I couldn't help. What was I supposed to do become another statistic just like those idiots. I'm out to survive this outbreak and if that means letting others down then so be it. Even if I did help her, she would have become one of them anyway, and I would have been putting my own safety at risk. That's a definite no-no.

Thursday 30 June 2011
21:00

I went back to the school where I killed that girl. Yes, she's still there. The zombie state must have made her body decompose faster than usual, not that I'm any sort of expert on body decomposition, so please don't think that I'm used to such things. The skin on her face, or what's left of it, was quite dark, it was as though her face was one big bruise. The smell was pretty bad too, but luckily I have a strong constitution and was able to hold down the chicken noodles I had for my tea.

I climbed into the bin to get a closer look at the body, I was pretty sure she wasn't going to wake up or come back to life, or unlife. I figured if she was going to move, she would have done it by now. Her skin was cold to touch, which was to be expected, I suppose, considering she's dead.

I crouched down in the bin, for about ten minutes, before making any noticeable movements. I didn't want to get caught sitting in a bin with a dead girl's body. She must have landed awkwardly when I threw her in causing her blouse to rip at the front. A few of the buttons had come loose too. I know how this must sound but, believe me, there is nothing sexual about sitting in a bin with the rotting corpse of a schoolgirl, who could, for all you know, come to life at any moment and bite your face off.

I pulled the collar of her shirt back to see if there was a name on the label. There was: Annabel Holmes.

At least now she has a name.

I didn't stay with her any longer that I had to, in fact, the only reason I went back was to appease my guilt. It didn't feel good sticking that knife in her, in fact, the amount of times I've felt like just sticking it in myself. I constantly tell myself that she was/is dead and probably wouldn't have felt a thing.

Youtube seems to be the media of choice in these times of free and easy access. There are more and more videos being uploaded of zombies being beaten by Joe Bloggs. These videos are vastly outnumbered, however, by Mr. Zed getting his own back with his buddies; him and his ever increasing gang of up to one hundred walking, crawling, stumbling, corpses of very hungry undead.

A few of the videos have been deleted due to, I dare say, the graphic nature of the footage. I don't know if it still counts as snuff. A lot of it is pretty disturbing. I think all the major cities and towns in the UK have been overrun by the “infection” and it's a situation that is, going by blogs and other online sources, worsening or as I've always wanted to say spreading at an exponential rate.

Where are the big guns? Well, they're not doing as well as we hoped. It's one thing fighting an enemy that, once shot, goes down. It doesn't even have to be a fatal hit, just enough to wound the target and the chances are he or she will go down like a sac of potatoes. What happens if you shoot and your target keeps coming toward you? Relentless. Intent on sinking its teeth into your soft, tasty flesh. There's not a lot you can do, run, perhaps. From what I've seen online, the zombies can run too. Not all of them, but some of them can shift.

(A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR - I HAVEN'T STOPPED WRITING, RATHER, THE OPPOSITE IS TRUE AND I AM AIMING TOWARDS COMPLETING THIS WORK AND REVIEWING IT BEFORE PRINTING/PUBLISHING FURTHER. WATCH THIS SPACE. THANKS.)

11:28

I've not had much to eat this morning, I know it's bad to exercise on an empty stomach and all that, blah, blah, but I feel very awake, obviously after my initial tiredness from doing weights on an empty stomach, but I do definitely feel charged now. I'm going to tackle one of those zombie bastards today or tonight, I'm not exactly too sure when, but I do know I am actually going to face one. I have to decide whether it'll be best during the day time when I can see where it comes from or where I can run to, if need be. Or, maybe night time will be preferable, no witness if it does get a bit messy. Then again if I'm odds with my surroundings that could prove fatal, for me, not knowing where to take cover. The point is, I have to do this or else punch myself in the crotch, sit back and wait for the virus to get me.

This is it. The first step towards survival.

22:00

Holy Shite!!! What a buzz! I know I shouldn't be on a high, but I am. I can't help it and I'll try to type in a controlled manner but that was amazing! Right, time out brain. I am touching my heart....yes, it's still there. You'll remember my plan for an encounter with Mr. or Mrs. Zed?, well, this is how it went...

I did a few reps on the dumbbells, to get my muscles pumped up, and yes I posed in front the wardrobe mirror, it was a confidence booster then I got tooled up. I'm not saying it's acceptable to carry a knife on the streets of Britain, because it's not, and it's still very much against the law, however on this occasion a knife was very, very much necessary if I were to survive an encounter with a zombie.

I bid my time until 21:00 exactly then left the flat. I've rigged the front door to the electricity socket in the hall, for extra security when I'm out. I can get in without being shocked because there is another handle (more of a small latch) at the top of the door that is connected to the main handle. When this handle is turned it disengages the mains power from the handle, thus letting me in. No-one would dream of looking up for the other handle which, incidentally, is painted the same black as the door.

The streets are getting more and more busy by the day, with zombies at least. I'm noticing fewer and fewer actual human noises: laughter, music, talk, although there are more instances of crying and screaming, which is usually quite short lived. I stayed close to the parked cars, what little there are left, most have skipped the town before the road blocks really kicked in. I felt like a right loony, like I was a little kid again, playing soldiers with my pals. Every now and again I'd pop my head up over the bonnet of a car to look for a zombie, then I would scan the surrounding windows to make sure no-one was watching me make dick of myself. I still have some pride.

It took me twenty-five, maybe thirty-five minutes to walk along to the Academy, it would usually have taken ten at a leisurely pace, but I was taking no chances. I was ready to move on past the school when I saw something move in the playground, near the bins. I only saw a single figure and moved closer, all the time looking around, checking my back, surviving and expecting the worse, always looking, always listening.

The side gate was open so that's where I entered, as quiet as a mouse. It was a zombie, walking about in some sort of trance or something, but it...she just seemed to be walking from bin to bin, head down, bumping off one bin, turning round then bumping off the other. The skin was broken on her forehead but it didn't bother her. She looked no older than sixteen, and was still wearing her school uniform. She had lovely long blonde hair, only the front wasn't lovely and blonde, it was damp and red where the broken skin had spread blood onto it. I had a good look around before getting closer, I didn't want to chance one of those things taking me by surprise if they even had the element of surprise. I sure as hell wasn't going to take any chances.

It was quite a surprise when she eventually noticed me, even though I'd been creeping up on her. Always expecting, always watching, always ready to run or shit my pants.

She moved fast, faster than I expected. I don't know, for some reason I had expected someone with a dead brain to walk, ambling along giving time to think about how to avoid or engage. Not a chance, she fucking flew at me, teeth gnashing, screaming at me like I was the one that made her dead. I turned to run but my legs were like jelly and gave way. I fell and one of the knives I was carrying slid out my pocket, just as well or I may have punctured myself. I turned and she was on top of me, I grabbed her throat, keeping those gnashing teeth at arms length. I somehow managed to overpower her and throw her to the ground, then make for the knife. Bloody thing looked a million miles away. I managed to scramble to it, ripping my good jeans in the process, and turned to see a young girl throw herself at me only to land on the knife. It went right in through her throat and she fell to the ground. There was no screaming, no motion, nothing. But I took no chances and wasted no time in dragging her body and dumping it in one of the bins she and her split head were so attracted to earlier. She looked like a light thing. She wasn't, all limp and difficult to lift. I got my knife back from her throat, wiped it and hid it somewhere between the school and here. I can't say where because I'm still not one hundred percent sure that what I've done isn't murder. She was a zombie, but she was a girl.

I hate to say this but it was a buzz and a half. I'll lie low for a while, and return after a few days, see if maybe she's still there or....God knows what. I don't think anyone has been to that school in weeks and the bin lorry hasn't been round since...fuck knows when.

It's my fist zombie bag and I'm shitting it. I'm going to try and get some sleep, I need the rest before my heart packs in.

Surprise, surprise, that woman that survived the pile-up on the M8 and ended up fainting all over the wine isle in tesco yesterday, she turned zombie. As it happens she did survive the crash but she neglected to tell anyone that she got bitten by one of those zeds that surged into the carnage of cars and, fresh meat. That may be a bit callous calling them fresh meat but, that's exactly what they were. If a zombie is coming at you and there's no way you can get out of his path, then you're lunch my friend.

A few genuinely clean survivors had seen the woman get bitten before pulling her arm back into the car, and scrambling out the passenger side. She clambered over the wreckage and flagged down a lift then made her way into tesco for a nice bottle of red nerve calmer. That's when I saw her.

The poor shop assistant didn't stand a chance. He must have had the most basic of fist aid training, which was certainly nowhere near enough to prepare him for someone dying then coming back to life again. Poor guy never stood a chance. He was still trying to resuscitate her when she opened her eyes and bit his lips off. The security guard arrived only to see the poor guy lying on the floor, with his throat open while the woman chewed happily on his left cheek.

You understand, this isn't my account, this is what they're allowing on the radio now. This time last year, it would have been “There has been an incident...blah, blah..” but now I think they just want people to know how bad this shit is getting, everyone needs to be de-sensitised to this escalating atrocity, otherwise we're all going to just run screaming at the first sign of a set of grey lifeless eyes. We're all going to turn an run, only to have our hair caught by the dead hands of the ever increasing enemy and have our brains as an appetiser and our blood as a delicious aperitif.

Suffice to say, the security guard bought it as well. People have no idea how to deal with zombies at all. Don't get me wrong, I'm by no means an authority on the undead but if I was that security guard, I would have stolen a pair of running shoes and fucked right off out of there. I'm in this game to survive now.

Anyway, body count at Tesco, Port Glasgow. Forty three, last count. The “situation” is under control.

I won't be going to Tesco, Port Glasgow in the foreseeable future.

10:30

I'm still actually enjoying the exercise first thing in the morning. I just keep thinking on the results; the benefits of have a finely tuned body, a little more fit than just being able to carry four bags of messages (groceries) up the stairs without laboured breathing.

12:32

I passed the house where I'd seen that zombie kid in the garden. Most of the houses down his street have had their windows smashed in. I guess that means there's nobody home. Wonder why he's still there? Surely whoever smashed the windows would have seen him and thrown stones or bricks or whatever at him too. His face was all bloody, what was left of it. I think he's been chewing at the gate again, trying to break through to get at something. I kinda feel sorry for him. People are saying that they don't have any feel anything, pain, hurt, sadness or happiness. How do they know? Have the experts learned so much in the past months about something that has come out of nowhere! No doubt there's a lab somewhere with undead specimens tied down and primed for experimentation.

10:26

I've added an extra 1.5kg onto the weights I'm using, just two barbells with iron weights, now 5.5kg on each bar. I'm doing the exercises slow for the real burn.

I'm going to take a stroll past that garden where I saw the little zombie boy. I haven't forgotten about Connie, but she's not high on my priorities right now.

I've been watching more zombie footage on youtube, I thought it was a lot of shit at first but now I'm going to study it, because I can imagine there's going to be a lot more footage over the next few months. I hope everyone else is preparing for the big Zed shite to hit the fan!

10:15

In a moment of vanity, I decided to measure my muscles this morning, as a place to start. If I'm going to do this getting fit and getting big thing, I'm going to have to take it seriously. I won't say what my biceps, triceps, chest or skinny leg measurements are, but suffice to say my stomach needs a lot of work. I need to work on the sit-ups. I briefly flirted with weight training when I was younger; sixteen to eighteen and was at my physical peek. There was this guy at the gym I went to, his name was dice, he was as wide as a truck for the front, nice looking guy rode a motorbike, but from the side you couldn't see him. He had no arse and I don't remember seeing him ever work on his legs. I'm not saying he had pipe cleaners for legs but I'm thinking maybe if I'm going to get massive I have to concentrate on not one area, but all over body enhancement. The exercise bike is on easy setting and if I'm to progress any I'm going to have to crank it up a notch, as they say in the movies.

It's quite and there was nothing much to say about Saturday and Sunday. I went for another walk, and went past that kid's house to see if he was still there. I didn't see him. I wonder if he's still there, in his house or if he's even still walking around. What happened to his family? I know it's none of my business, I'd just like to know, natural human curiosity or bloody noseyness as it's more commonly know.

I can't take too much on at the moment, I'm not some stupid avenger type or vigilante who's looking to get his head kicked about the street. I have big plans for myself, and the biggest of them is staying alive so no futile actions at this stage of the game.

9:58

I've decided it's time to get fit. I watched as two of those undead shitheads pursued an old lady along the street behind the flat. I saw it all from my bedroom window. The zeds didn't move very fast, but the pensioner had no chance. The two zeds dressed in tracksuits, possibly in their mid 30s, gave chase along the street until their geriatric victim went over on her ankle. As she went down, the faster of the two undead grabbed her hair. A whole clump came away in his hands as she fell. I couldn't quite see what happened next because the trees round the back-green are fully covered in leaves. I watched as the zombies moved just out of sight, dragging an old set of spindly blood covered legs with them. I could almost hear her slippered heels dragging along the ground.

I'm not ready to help yet. I'm not fit enough, not confident enough, but I will be.

Here's my new fitness regime (starting tomorrow):

Morn (9:00 up on the dot no snooze)

warm up (piss first, if needed)

20 push-ups (to get the blood circulating)

Bicep Curl 2x30 fast reps (definition)

Tricep Curl 2x15 fast reps (definition)

Shoulder Press 2x20

60 sit-ups (various styles)

Exercise Bike (20mins)

I'm not trying to be the hulk or anything but it should help me on my way to becoming fit.

10:00

I'm sure I heard someone in the close last night around 11:40. I went to the spyhole, which took me absolute ages as the floorboards and the laminate flooring creak with the slightest pressure. I can't tip toe because if I'm right that would make it worse by centralizing and concentrating the weight on a smaller surface making each tippy toe step heavier and creakier that normal. I might just be talking shite.

I'm sure I saw a shadow at the top of the stairs, as if someone was about to come round the corner, then it went away again. I double checked the locks on the door, gave them a good old tug, and yes, a bit of a kick just to make sure they would stop...well, whoever or whatever they need to stop. I'm feeling less and less secure in this flat nevermind this street. I've been avoiding it, but I think it's time to start thinking about protecting myself, I can't remember the last time I saw an actual policeman pounding the beat. The laws of society are quickly changing and I need to be prepared for whatever shit comes with it.

10:13

I found half a box of all bran at the back of the cupboard where I store the pots and pans. The packet isn't out of date but not long until it is, if that stuff ever goes off. How would you know, it's not as if you could tell by getting the shits, cause that's what it's supposed to do. Took a full bowl anyway, just hope I don't shite myself with nerves when I'm out in the close. I'm going to listen out for that voice upstairs again, wink, wink.

10:38

That is one fucked up place upstairs! I couldn't stay in there for long, I'm just not used to creeping around in someone else's house. My heart is pumping. If I had got caught up there, God knows what could have happened to me. I reckon they'd have thrown away the key, and not surprising, it's like a mad scientist's lab; everywhere I looked there was some gadget with lights, some still active/flashing, or tubes going from one contraption to another. It's a bit difficult to describe so I'll see if I can take a picture the next time I'm up, which certainly won't be today. The lock is back on and that's the way it'll stay until I'm sure no-one is returning.

I'm getting excited again. I feel like a little boy who's about to break into an abandoned shed or sneak into a garden and steal from the apple tree.

10:05

It's a strange feeling being the only tenant in the building. I think everyone else has either had the common sense to stay with a friend or relation or has fell victim to the virus. It feels like the whole building is mine, I'm really starting to feel that I can do whatever I like in this place, because there won't be any retribution. Who's going to find out if I shit in my own close, no-one ever comes here, and I can't blame people for being wrapped up in their own world. My friends, acquaintances have their own family that they must be equally concerned about, I can't expect them to phone or pop round and check to see if I'm still breathing. To fuck with this, I'm going to see what's upstairs, that's if I can get past that lock on the gate. Well, what would you do if you know there was no-one coming back to a flat that could get access to? Exactly.

10:15

Shite! No key. I know, what was I expecting, the damn key to be under a mat or handing on a little fancy key holder marked “Gate Key!”

I'm not giving up.

15:00

I've been a bad boy. I thought I heard someone upstairs, calling down to me saying they were stuck so I went to my tool cupboard and took out my hacksaw.

I got halfway through the arm of the lock when the blade snapped. I don't even have a spare blade.

17:44

Thank the Lord for the internet and Google. I'm going to attempt to “drill the lock”, I've got the extension all ready unwound and a bit that should do the job – I popped out earlier and sized it up against the lock. I am very nervous and have, I must add, never attempted anything like this before. I don't know if anyone will believe me about the voice if I get caught. I don't have any other story ready so that'll have to do.

Everyone, or anyone that's left around here, should be sitting down at their sausages and beans right now. I could be changing the locks on my door couldn't I? Shite! It's now or never.

18:10

Job done. I managed to drill the lock and it was easier than I thought. I drilled up through the bottom, and it popped open, well not exactly popped but will a bit of encouragement it did open. I've left it so it looks as though it's still locked, just in case. No-one will come back but my paranoia tells me different.

After all there's no rush, it's just my obstinate curiosity that pushes me.

23:41

The days are getting lighter earlier and darker later, something to do with equinox I suppose, so I'm getting up earlier. I'm not feeling so close to depression any longer, although I do wish I could speak to my mum, dad or Connie.

I found the charger for my mobile phone, under the bed, so I'll charge it up and give someone a call....anyone.

It's great to have the fridge full again, even if it is yoghurt, wine and large plastic jars of beans (5 of them). I know it's secure entry into the close but I've bought another two locks for the front door, just in case. Desperate times call for desperate measures and that goes for the undesirables as well. I don't think they're going to lie down and cease all crime because the country is in viral jeopardy. Quite the opposite, I think some will see this as an excuse to run bloody riot.

10:35

I found a bicycle down in cellar last month, last time I was down there I noticed it hadn't moved so no-one's interested in it, right? Someone's forgotten about it. It's a bit old, rusty dusty and all that but I reckon it could get me Glasgow, or at the very least out of plague central, Greenock. I'm not as fit as I used to be and it's going to be a bit of a struggle, who am I trying to kid, it's going to be a bastard of a ride and if I reach the hospital in one piece they better have a spare bed ready for me.

11:28

Just saw on SkyNews that the Channel Tunnel (aka the chunnel) has been put under strict quarantine. George Stewart, A forty year old male passenger on the Eurostar, had displayed signs of the early stages of CZ, but fellow passengers thought he just had the cold, then he stopped breathing and died very suddenly, only to rise again a few minutes later. An off duty nurse, thirty five year old Margaret Hemming, who was attending to him, was his first victim. The reanimated body of Mr. Stewart sat up, grabbed her by the throat and bit into her neck. He claimed twelve victims in total before help arrived in the tunnel. 700 people are now being evacuated from the train. 700!! That's mental. I'm getting quite used to the sight the hazmat suit, although the ones they used today were white, not yellow. According to Hazmat Suit Wikipedia, which we all take as gospel, white suits are level B (US) protecting against splashes from hazardous chemicals. In Europe they are type 2: Protects against liquid and gaseous chemicals. Non gas tight. More or less equivalent to US level B. You learn something new everyday don't you. Just a little bit of trivia there. Right, time for lunch then a bike ride that I am not looking forward to in the slightest.

13:28

I've stopped at Langbank. I can see two army trucks and six soldiers, they're still here topping cars and checking them. I should be all right. I don't have a cold or anything.

15:40

I'm back home at the flat. I'm pissed off and exhausted. I didn't get up to Glasgow, obviously, as those army numskulls wouldn't let me past. They said it looked as though I had a fever, maybe the fever and that no-one with the fever was going to get out of town. I told them I was almost forty and that I hadn't cycled for twenty years or so. They told me that if I wanted to reach that magic four Oh, then they suggested that I turn round and cycle back home, slowly. A small argument developed between me and the sergeant, then he showed me his fist then his rifle and the trigger on it that his finger was resting on. He told me his finger was getting more and more restless by the minute. Each time I opened my mouth his finger got a little more “restless”. I closed my mouth and took the hint. Bastard!

I've quite often though that, driving back from a destination is quicker, or at least seems quicker than driving to that place. Maybe because it's not new any more and the brain recognises landmarks and isn't so uptight. That wasn't the case on this journey. I hate bicycles now, I nearly died doing something like a 15 miles round-trip and no matter how much I need to get somewhere, I am not putting myself through that ever again.

Connie can wait, well, she doesn't have much choice does she.

Tuesday 3 May 2011 (date fix)

8:35

I'm up early. I don't know why, just couldn't sleep. Strange, when it's too quiet, almost no noise in the world. There aren't even any tick-tocking clocks in the flat. When Connie moved in I made sure she didn't bring her large pink ticking tocking clock. The few times I stayed at her (mum and dad's) house that clock drove me crazy. TICK! TOCK! TICK! Bloody TOCK!!!! Just like Chinese water torture. What I would do for that annoying tick-tocking right now. I suppose I could leave the radio or TV running in the background but that costs money that I can ill afford to squander on my meagre salary.

10:00

I ventured outside the building and spoke with Peter's dad from the next close. He was out packing a lot of stuff into his car and going on holiday, well that's what he told me. I suspect he's running away.

When I was talking to Peter's dad, an ambulance ran into one of the traffic lights on Union Street, then crashed into a brick wall. I was too far away to help, which was just as well. I watched as two cars stopped, the drivers got out to see if everyone was ok then something, someone burst out the back doors and ran at the guy from the first car. Whoever it was that ran from the back of the ambulance took that poor guy down like he was just a kid, teeth right into his neck. Peter's dad turned to me, pointed to the ambulance and said 'That's why I'm leaving. I suggest you do the same. This isn't going to stop any time soon.'

I didn't hear what else he said because I'm not that great listener. He could have said my hair was on fire or that he was about to implode in twenty seconds time for all I know, but I don't think he said any of them, it was probably something like This place is shite! Goodbye.

There's something funny/ironic about accidents involving the emergency services.

It's been very quiet in the close. I took the odd peek out of the spyhole to see if there was any signs of life; nothing!

I am currently residing at Lonely Street, but not Heartbreak Hotel. I still have my sense of humour, but for how long. Peter's dad is right, this place is shite!

I have an idea of how to get to Connie. It could take me hours, even days, but I have to try.

Sunday 2 May 2011

14:45

The streets are very quiet, not even so much as a Sunday driver. I think I counted two cars go by on the main road. No children out playing, no-one in their Sunday best on their way to the hypocrite house/house of hypocrites. It won't be long now before the church is inundated with part-time worshipers, clasping their hands nice and tightly praying unfamiliar words to a God who has long since left society dangling like a used condom hanging from a hedge. Profound or cynical, either way there is an element of truth in it.

16:00

I haven't been out of the flat today and I don't think I'm about to rush out either.

Two white vans pulled up outside the flat across the road, number 28, four guys in overalls got out and boarded up the rest of the windows. One of the guy's, a tall bloke with greasy dark hair and ripped overalls said something to one of the younger guys. The younger guy turned and looked up at my window, furrowed his mono-brow and shook his head. What!? What did he say? What's so bad?

I think this street is quickly becoming ground zero.

18:30

I haven't heard anything from Murdo for a while. Maybe he's jumped ship. Don't blame him, really. Pensioners have a habit of catching everything don't they? Got to get their flu jabs and all that stuff. He'll have to get something a wee bit stronger than a flu jab, I'm suspecting.

22:00

I heard voices out at the front of the building. I kept the light off and watched as four neds, arseholes, call them what you will, threw stones at the window. Most of the shots hit upstairs' window, I'm hoping that's where they were aiming. They were only outside for five minutes or so then two police cars and a van came screeching round the corner and took them away. That's the fastest response I've ever seen and it wasn't even that serious. I wonder who called the boys in blue because I don't think there's anyone left on this street.

The tents and digging equipment is all but gone from the back-green. I think the police have gotten all the information that they can expect to get from out there. They've left the place in an awful mess. I would ask who's going to clean it up, but in true tradition of me...I can't be bothered. I mean, it's not that important is it. It's just me in this building, on my own.

I'm going to scream later to see if anyone notices.

Saturday 1 May 2011

22:00

Yesterday was a cunt of a day. I couldn't find my phone charger anywhere, which is no surprise as I don't really put it in the same place when I'm finished with it. My brain likes to make itself work overtime by constantly allowing me to leave things at my backside, in other words, I drop my socks, pants and the like on the floor and leave them for another time. Only I don't pick them up do I. This place is getting to be a right shite hole. The sooner Connie gets back the better.

Luckily the every sturdy internet is still up, at virgin media is still go.

The virus has reached London.

The news showed a man in his sixties being taken from an ambulance to the Hospital for Tropical Diseases. He looked awful. I don't think they should have showed that on the news, it was pretty disturbing. He was foaming at the mouth and kept trying to bite the paramedics. It looked more like rabies than the CZ Virus. I'll give that hospital 24 hours before it's totally overrun by undead nutters. The government just don't have a clue how to contain this thing.

I walked to the little tesco, which is about a ten minute walk from here, to get the usual essentials; bread and milk. There was no milk and very little bread left. I hate people.

I'll have another look for my phone charger before I go to bed, which will be soon.

Friday 30 April 2011

10:00

I'm getting out of bed later and later as there's no work to go to. I checked my bank account online and my pay is at least still going in. How long will that last? Not that I'm complaining. As long as the money still goes in at the end of the month, I still have a roof over my head.

10:43

Had a look on the net for local traffic reports. It doesn't say anything about road blocks. I don't know if it would or not but I'll chance it anyway. God only knows what Connie would say if she thought just for one moment that I couldn't be bothered trying to get to her. I have to make an effort for the avoidance of retribution alone.

11:33

Car won't start. Engine is turning over but I can't get it to start. Luckily no-one in the neighbouring flats looked out their window to see me. That can be a little embarrassing.

Where is everybody anyway? The streets are quiet. I don't hear any cars, there's usually the odd car passing, a bus or something. No engines! It's unnerving.

Thursday 29 April 2011

13:00

Went down to the Post Office this morning to buy milk and rolls. Aulds pie shop was closed. It's not usually shut, even on holidays. It would take a bomb or something really serious to close that place. I haven't heard a fire engine for two weeks; they're usually outside every week. I don't think there is a fire every week, I think it's the firemen up for a few free pies.

The woman behind the counter in the Post Office looked like shit, she coughed into her hand and this black stuff came out. I told her to keep the change. Disgusting.

14:00

I just heard sirens. Must have been the fire engines down at Aulds. Sounded more like an ambulance siren, though.

17:35

Had noodles for my tea, not the best or tastiest; Tesco value, but they filled a gap. It may just be the way forward in my battle to lose weight. Don't get me wrong, I'm not fat, just out of condition and I do have very bad posture which I'm sure contributes greatly to my sore back and...well that and the fact I'm a bit of a lazy bastard too. It's not all fun and games sitting at a computer day in, day out. Well, it can be, but it doesn't do your health any good, take it from me. I've been to the docs more times the past couple of months than I have the last ten years.

18:00

I took a nosey peek out the window and saw someone driving Murdo's car away. What's happening with that as they say in America? No-one drives his car. That's his baby.

22:25

I don't know why I bother switching on the television, nothing but shite on it. I would have expected better from the news, but no, they are now calling the victims of the virus, zombies. There we have it, the last bastion of judgement has fallen prey to sensationalism. The death of common sense has finally arrived. Fucking zombies!!

23:00

Just on the phone to my mum there, she said that zombies are everywhere in Aberdeen. I think my mum has just found her new favourite word because if she said the world zombie once, she said it a thousand times.

I'll see if the motorway is open tomorrow. Surely it'll be back to normal or at least the road blocks eased up.

Wednesday 28 April 2011

21:58

I've been stuck in the house all day. Not much happening in the close but the “authorities” have made sure there is no traffic up and down the stairs. The gate to upstairs is locked with a massive padlock blocking any possible intrusion; I opened the door and took a sneaky peek earlier, and it seems as though it's safe enough to be left unguarded. Can't remember the last time I saw those wankers upstairs! As I've said on many occasions, good riddance to bad rubbish.

22:10

There was little bit of a commotion across the road a few minutes ago. Two army trucks and an ambulance showed up at number 30. I heard the shouting from my bedroom. I went into the living room and, hiding behind the curtains, watched as two families were led away. Three adults and four children were man handled into the back of the army trucks while three black body bags were, not what I'd call discretely, slung into the back of the ambulance.

No-one even looked around to see if the neighbours were watching. Number 28 doesn't look too inviting either. Why haven't I noticed the boarded up windows before. Flat 1, an old woman lives/lived in there. What happened that was so bad it merited boarding up the windows?

I'm starting to feel that I'm living in a war zone.

Oh, forgot to say, just a small thing, Osama Bin Laden has been shot dead apparently. Let's hope he doesn't get the virus or he'll be a whole new handful of trouble.

Tuesday 27 April 2011

22:58

I got some sleep last night but I had another dream about Connie turning into one of those monsters. Let's face it, anything out of the ordinary, these days, is labelled a monster, so that's what I'm calling her. Also, if I'm honest, totally honest, I'm feeling a little bit horny too. It happens doesn't it. There doesn't have to be a “mood”, candles on the table, music playing in the background or the right atmos. Sometimes it's just enough to have your testicles filled to bursting point with good old semen that wants to come out somehow. It's an urge that needs to be fulfilled. Even in the face of adversity, hormones demand attention or some sort of satisfaction.

Someone called Heather phoned from head office today to let me know where I stand. I'm not fired, good. I'm still in a job. A grand total of seventeen people from the company are off with the virus, or viral related symptoms. I'm still getting full pay. Just as well, the bills still need paying and they (work) were the ones that told me not to come in.

The first case of the virus, which they have given a name but I wasn't listening properly to the news, has been discovered in England in Carlisle. So it has finally made its way over the border. Let's see the Prime Minister shrug it off now. It's your responsibility now. England's stiff upper lip has a scab on it, get a cure or vaccine or whatever government money buys these days.

Let's hope it doesn't go international.

Monday 25 April 2011

Monday 25 April 2011
14:39

I didn't have nice dreams last night, in fact, they were very creepy indeed. I dreamt I was standing over the dead body of Lucinca next door. The top of her head was open and a battered skull protruded through torn skin. Lying face down in a blood soaked carpet, she turned round and reached out to me. The right hand side of her face was missing, torn away, and her brain was exposed on that side. The grizzly pieces of skin on her face, neck and shoulder covered with bite marks. I took a step backward, tripped over something on the floor, and came crashing down on a coffee table. I turned to see a small girl covered from head to toe in blood. She got to her feet quite clumsily. I tried to scream, but couldn't. The girl smiled a crooked smile at me. Lucinda sneered at me, for a second I saw Connie's face and then I screamed until I woke.

Nice dream eh?

16:00

What the fuck! (no cute abbreviations here) I've been told by one of the guys in suits that I have to leave my flat, due to unforeseeable circumstances. Apparently there may very well be a real danger of the virus spreading through the building and into my flat. What's he talking about? I'm no physicist or shit but surely the virus would have to be airborne?

He was, I suppose, as pleasant as a person could be who was trying to throw someone out their house without force. He told me his name was Roger Fennel, but I'm not entirely sure I believe him. I don't know what to believe now.

I get a prickly sensation down my spine and shudder when I think about what's happened in this building.

Anyway, Mr. Fennel, he asked me not to call him Roger as it was far too familiar, then told me that I had to find somewhere else to stay as this building, including my flat, was under quarantine. That must be the new buzzword “quarantine”. “Something wrong over here”, “OK, just quarantine it!” “My dog's starting to look a little bit....”, “Quick, QUARANTINE it!!!!”

Tuesday 26 April 2011
14:39

Turned on the TV this morning around ten. This virus could very well be the next biggie. It's spreading at an exponential rate. The biggest part of the west coast of Scotland has experienced some sort of incident involving the virus. There doesn't seem to be any way to stop it. I'm sure there was a brief mention of an antidote or medicine that could help suppress the syptoms.

16:00

I've had the news on all day, well, for a good couple of hours, but that's as good as all day for me. Sky News has up to the minute coverage of this thing. I'm sitting watching the little bar at the bottom of the screen as it moves from right to left bringing new tales of infection from all around Scotland. Well there you have it, a nation of shite football players, artery hardened alcoholics and now an increasing tartan army of the undead. I'm sick of this bloody place!

18:00

News of the virus is spreading faster on twitter than it is in real life. Twitter isn't real life is it?

ROBBIE Robert Cooms

Heard there is a virus hitting Scotland at the moment. Not surprising, must be the black pudding suppers they have for breakfast.

1 hour ago

SOPH Sophie Heart

Just saw unprovoked attack in Riverside Inn, Ayrshire. Some idiot came in drunk and bit a guy's ear off.

40 mins ago

DEREK_BAXTER Derek Baxter

No cases of this virus in Edinburgh although AIDS is still hanging around here somewhere.

35 mins ago

BIG JACK Jack Featherman

Nothing much happening in Stonehaven, but then again, nothing ever happens here. Viral free.

28 mins ago

20:00

It's been 25 days since this thing really kicked off and it's still spreading. The authorities DON'T have it under control. Am I surprised? No. The best thing the government can do right now is stick their heads right up their collective arses and deny any responsibility. You can bet if they had it under control, they would be blowing their trumpets up and down the country.

At least Stonehaven is clear for the meantime. That's a stone's throw away from my mum and dad in Aberdeen. I'm not getting much sleep these days. I'm going to bed soon to try and make up for lost time. God knows, I need my beauty sleep.

Chapter two : twoz - 23 April 2011

Saturday 23 April 2011
10:25

I got up as early as I could this morning. I'm still a little tired after downing the best part of a bottle of wine last night. When there's no-one to share it with, you get greedy, I do anyway. I'm sitting in the car calling it everything under the sun. It's playing silly buggers with me and not wanting to start. I may have to bump start it, you know, roll the bastard down the hill in second gear. If it doesn't start, I'll be rolling it down the hill straight into the River Clyde.

11:50

I'm parked at TESCO in Port Glasgow. Forgot to charge my phone battery last night, so I'll have to be prudent with the journal writing. Will pop and get petrol before the journey up to Glasgow. Fifteen pounds should do it, enough to get me up and back so long as there are no traffic jams. It's very quiet here. I don't know if it's just the increase in petrol prices or, well, best not think about it too much. Try and stay as rational as possible.

12:15

I've had to stop at the side of the road, near Langbank, the car is over-heating. I'm sure I put enough water and oil in it and whatever else it needs. Who am I kidding, I don't pay the car any attention, mechanically, unless something goes wrong and it tells me by way of a flashing light on the dashboard. I've seriously neglected it.

12:25

Just watched as six army trucks passed by, heading towards Greenock. My priority is to get to Glasgow.

13:00

The traffic is exceptionally busy, even for a Saturday. I've stopped in a car park, it'll probably cost me an arm and a leg (not literally). It's impossible to drive anywhere near Ruchill Hospital, there are roadworks and streets blocked off at virtually every turn. I'll have to walk to the hospital.

13:10

Just got off the phone to the hospital and they said I'd missed visiting hours and that I should come back around seven tonight. Bastard! After driving all the way up here. No sense in walking there if I'm not going to be allowed in. I'm totally disorganised. What was I thinking. Right, have decided to return home and get a change of clothes for Connie, they'll be the wrong ones and she'll moan, and I'll return for seven. That'll get me in the good books, maybe.

Need to charge phone battery when I get home. Should have brought the USB connector and plugged it into the stereo to charge.

14:00

That's me back home. Not much time to say anything because traffic was hellish on the way in to Greenock too. Everyone's busy rushing about, queues of cars trying to get into TESCO. I don't remember it being billed as a holiday. That's usually what happens when a holiday approaches, people panic buy in case milk and bread run out the day before Armageddon.

Anyway, got to rush. I've grabbed clothes for Connie: t-shirt, jeans, training shoes and socks. That should do her, I hope.

14:30

I've had to pull over to the side of the road. The army trucks, I'm sure it's the same ones, have blocked the motorway. It must have only been within the last half hour as there aren't many cars in front of mine, maybe about twenty or so. If I'm very careful, I can slowly reverse down the hard shoulder to the Langbank roundabout and take a different route through Bishopton. Over and out as they say.

14:40

Shit. I'm stuck on Old Greenock Road. Looks like everyone else had the same idea as me. I hate that. A few people got out their cars to see what was happening. I got out and had a look for myself. The army and police have set up a road block here as well. Jesus, how am I supposed to get to Connie now.

15:00

Everyone has been told to turn back and go home. Mostly everyone complied, although the odd nutter did put up a small amount of protest, some futile gesture, I guess, to say we're not putting up with this. Connie will just have to wait. She has her pals with her anyway, I think, I can't seem to get a signal on these back-roads.

Heading home.

Sunday 24 April 2011
22:25

Tried a dozen times to get through to Ruchill yesterday. Switched the radio on seeing as the news told me just about fuck all. There have been road blocks set up at various points, all points in fact, leaving Greenock. It hasn't been mentioned that the town has been put under quarantine, as such, but I know it's going to be bloody difficult to leave without a some soldier staring at you, down the barrel of his gun.

22:35

I'm starting to feel guilty that I'm not making more of an effort to get to Connie. I'm not the big hero that's willing to take the risk, I'd rather wait and let someone else get killed, well maybe not killed but let them do all the ground work and I can learn from their mistakes. I can't think straight, and it doesn't help that I'm a scatter brain at the best of times. I have to sit down and try to figure out how to get to Connie.

22:55

Just got off the phone to my mum. It was a bit late, so I apologised for call her at such a late hour, then went on to babble on for about fifteen to twenty minutes. They're staying in Aberdeen with my Uncle Rex. I filled them in on the situation and told them not to hurry back. My mum worries about everything. I tell her about the virus that's been on the news and how it's spreading through West Scotland, she asks if I'm eating enough, or she'll ask if I've got the cold if I cough once on the phone because of a dry throat. Twenty minutes is the max I can take.

I told her about Connie and her friend, mum said that everything will be fine. I don't believe her. I think it's a mum's duty to lie to us to protect us from the horrible truth.

I don't remember the last time I told any of my parents I love them.

I'm going to bed now. I hope I have nice dreams.