Tuesday 3 May 2011 (date fix)

8:35

I'm up early. I don't know why, just couldn't sleep. Strange, when it's too quiet, almost no noise in the world. There aren't even any tick-tocking clocks in the flat. When Connie moved in I made sure she didn't bring her large pink ticking tocking clock. The few times I stayed at her (mum and dad's) house that clock drove me crazy. TICK! TOCK! TICK! Bloody TOCK!!!! Just like Chinese water torture. What I would do for that annoying tick-tocking right now. I suppose I could leave the radio or TV running in the background but that costs money that I can ill afford to squander on my meagre salary.

10:00

I ventured outside the building and spoke with Peter's dad from the next close. He was out packing a lot of stuff into his car and going on holiday, well that's what he told me. I suspect he's running away.

When I was talking to Peter's dad, an ambulance ran into one of the traffic lights on Union Street, then crashed into a brick wall. I was too far away to help, which was just as well. I watched as two cars stopped, the drivers got out to see if everyone was ok then something, someone burst out the back doors and ran at the guy from the first car. Whoever it was that ran from the back of the ambulance took that poor guy down like he was just a kid, teeth right into his neck. Peter's dad turned to me, pointed to the ambulance and said 'That's why I'm leaving. I suggest you do the same. This isn't going to stop any time soon.'

I didn't hear what else he said because I'm not that great listener. He could have said my hair was on fire or that he was about to implode in twenty seconds time for all I know, but I don't think he said any of them, it was probably something like This place is shite! Goodbye.

There's something funny/ironic about accidents involving the emergency services.

It's been very quiet in the close. I took the odd peek out of the spyhole to see if there was any signs of life; nothing!

I am currently residing at Lonely Street, but not Heartbreak Hotel. I still have my sense of humour, but for how long. Peter's dad is right, this place is shite!

I have an idea of how to get to Connie. It could take me hours, even days, but I have to try.

Sunday 2 May 2011

14:45

The streets are very quiet, not even so much as a Sunday driver. I think I counted two cars go by on the main road. No children out playing, no-one in their Sunday best on their way to the hypocrite house/house of hypocrites. It won't be long now before the church is inundated with part-time worshipers, clasping their hands nice and tightly praying unfamiliar words to a God who has long since left society dangling like a used condom hanging from a hedge. Profound or cynical, either way there is an element of truth in it.

16:00

I haven't been out of the flat today and I don't think I'm about to rush out either.

Two white vans pulled up outside the flat across the road, number 28, four guys in overalls got out and boarded up the rest of the windows. One of the guy's, a tall bloke with greasy dark hair and ripped overalls said something to one of the younger guys. The younger guy turned and looked up at my window, furrowed his mono-brow and shook his head. What!? What did he say? What's so bad?

I think this street is quickly becoming ground zero.

18:30

I haven't heard anything from Murdo for a while. Maybe he's jumped ship. Don't blame him, really. Pensioners have a habit of catching everything don't they? Got to get their flu jabs and all that stuff. He'll have to get something a wee bit stronger than a flu jab, I'm suspecting.

22:00

I heard voices out at the front of the building. I kept the light off and watched as four neds, arseholes, call them what you will, threw stones at the window. Most of the shots hit upstairs' window, I'm hoping that's where they were aiming. They were only outside for five minutes or so then two police cars and a van came screeching round the corner and took them away. That's the fastest response I've ever seen and it wasn't even that serious. I wonder who called the boys in blue because I don't think there's anyone left on this street.

The tents and digging equipment is all but gone from the back-green. I think the police have gotten all the information that they can expect to get from out there. They've left the place in an awful mess. I would ask who's going to clean it up, but in true tradition of me...I can't be bothered. I mean, it's not that important is it. It's just me in this building, on my own.

I'm going to scream later to see if anyone notices.

Saturday 1 May 2011

22:00

Yesterday was a cunt of a day. I couldn't find my phone charger anywhere, which is no surprise as I don't really put it in the same place when I'm finished with it. My brain likes to make itself work overtime by constantly allowing me to leave things at my backside, in other words, I drop my socks, pants and the like on the floor and leave them for another time. Only I don't pick them up do I. This place is getting to be a right shite hole. The sooner Connie gets back the better.

Luckily the every sturdy internet is still up, at virgin media is still go.

The virus has reached London.

The news showed a man in his sixties being taken from an ambulance to the Hospital for Tropical Diseases. He looked awful. I don't think they should have showed that on the news, it was pretty disturbing. He was foaming at the mouth and kept trying to bite the paramedics. It looked more like rabies than the CZ Virus. I'll give that hospital 24 hours before it's totally overrun by undead nutters. The government just don't have a clue how to contain this thing.

I walked to the little tesco, which is about a ten minute walk from here, to get the usual essentials; bread and milk. There was no milk and very little bread left. I hate people.

I'll have another look for my phone charger before I go to bed, which will be soon.

Friday 30 April 2011

10:00

I'm getting out of bed later and later as there's no work to go to. I checked my bank account online and my pay is at least still going in. How long will that last? Not that I'm complaining. As long as the money still goes in at the end of the month, I still have a roof over my head.

10:43

Had a look on the net for local traffic reports. It doesn't say anything about road blocks. I don't know if it would or not but I'll chance it anyway. God only knows what Connie would say if she thought just for one moment that I couldn't be bothered trying to get to her. I have to make an effort for the avoidance of retribution alone.

11:33

Car won't start. Engine is turning over but I can't get it to start. Luckily no-one in the neighbouring flats looked out their window to see me. That can be a little embarrassing.

Where is everybody anyway? The streets are quiet. I don't hear any cars, there's usually the odd car passing, a bus or something. No engines! It's unnerving.

Thursday 29 April 2011

13:00

Went down to the Post Office this morning to buy milk and rolls. Aulds pie shop was closed. It's not usually shut, even on holidays. It would take a bomb or something really serious to close that place. I haven't heard a fire engine for two weeks; they're usually outside every week. I don't think there is a fire every week, I think it's the firemen up for a few free pies.

The woman behind the counter in the Post Office looked like shit, she coughed into her hand and this black stuff came out. I told her to keep the change. Disgusting.

14:00

I just heard sirens. Must have been the fire engines down at Aulds. Sounded more like an ambulance siren, though.

17:35

Had noodles for my tea, not the best or tastiest; Tesco value, but they filled a gap. It may just be the way forward in my battle to lose weight. Don't get me wrong, I'm not fat, just out of condition and I do have very bad posture which I'm sure contributes greatly to my sore back and...well that and the fact I'm a bit of a lazy bastard too. It's not all fun and games sitting at a computer day in, day out. Well, it can be, but it doesn't do your health any good, take it from me. I've been to the docs more times the past couple of months than I have the last ten years.

18:00

I took a nosey peek out the window and saw someone driving Murdo's car away. What's happening with that as they say in America? No-one drives his car. That's his baby.

22:25

I don't know why I bother switching on the television, nothing but shite on it. I would have expected better from the news, but no, they are now calling the victims of the virus, zombies. There we have it, the last bastion of judgement has fallen prey to sensationalism. The death of common sense has finally arrived. Fucking zombies!!

23:00

Just on the phone to my mum there, she said that zombies are everywhere in Aberdeen. I think my mum has just found her new favourite word because if she said the world zombie once, she said it a thousand times.

I'll see if the motorway is open tomorrow. Surely it'll be back to normal or at least the road blocks eased up.

Wednesday 28 April 2011

21:58

I've been stuck in the house all day. Not much happening in the close but the “authorities” have made sure there is no traffic up and down the stairs. The gate to upstairs is locked with a massive padlock blocking any possible intrusion; I opened the door and took a sneaky peek earlier, and it seems as though it's safe enough to be left unguarded. Can't remember the last time I saw those wankers upstairs! As I've said on many occasions, good riddance to bad rubbish.

22:10

There was little bit of a commotion across the road a few minutes ago. Two army trucks and an ambulance showed up at number 30. I heard the shouting from my bedroom. I went into the living room and, hiding behind the curtains, watched as two families were led away. Three adults and four children were man handled into the back of the army trucks while three black body bags were, not what I'd call discretely, slung into the back of the ambulance.

No-one even looked around to see if the neighbours were watching. Number 28 doesn't look too inviting either. Why haven't I noticed the boarded up windows before. Flat 1, an old woman lives/lived in there. What happened that was so bad it merited boarding up the windows?

I'm starting to feel that I'm living in a war zone.

Oh, forgot to say, just a small thing, Osama Bin Laden has been shot dead apparently. Let's hope he doesn't get the virus or he'll be a whole new handful of trouble.

Tuesday 27 April 2011

22:58

I got some sleep last night but I had another dream about Connie turning into one of those monsters. Let's face it, anything out of the ordinary, these days, is labelled a monster, so that's what I'm calling her. Also, if I'm honest, totally honest, I'm feeling a little bit horny too. It happens doesn't it. There doesn't have to be a “mood”, candles on the table, music playing in the background or the right atmos. Sometimes it's just enough to have your testicles filled to bursting point with good old semen that wants to come out somehow. It's an urge that needs to be fulfilled. Even in the face of adversity, hormones demand attention or some sort of satisfaction.

Someone called Heather phoned from head office today to let me know where I stand. I'm not fired, good. I'm still in a job. A grand total of seventeen people from the company are off with the virus, or viral related symptoms. I'm still getting full pay. Just as well, the bills still need paying and they (work) were the ones that told me not to come in.

The first case of the virus, which they have given a name but I wasn't listening properly to the news, has been discovered in England in Carlisle. So it has finally made its way over the border. Let's see the Prime Minister shrug it off now. It's your responsibility now. England's stiff upper lip has a scab on it, get a cure or vaccine or whatever government money buys these days.

Let's hope it doesn't go international.

Monday 25 April 2011

Monday 25 April 2011
14:39

I didn't have nice dreams last night, in fact, they were very creepy indeed. I dreamt I was standing over the dead body of Lucinca next door. The top of her head was open and a battered skull protruded through torn skin. Lying face down in a blood soaked carpet, she turned round and reached out to me. The right hand side of her face was missing, torn away, and her brain was exposed on that side. The grizzly pieces of skin on her face, neck and shoulder covered with bite marks. I took a step backward, tripped over something on the floor, and came crashing down on a coffee table. I turned to see a small girl covered from head to toe in blood. She got to her feet quite clumsily. I tried to scream, but couldn't. The girl smiled a crooked smile at me. Lucinda sneered at me, for a second I saw Connie's face and then I screamed until I woke.

Nice dream eh?

16:00

What the fuck! (no cute abbreviations here) I've been told by one of the guys in suits that I have to leave my flat, due to unforeseeable circumstances. Apparently there may very well be a real danger of the virus spreading through the building and into my flat. What's he talking about? I'm no physicist or shit but surely the virus would have to be airborne?

He was, I suppose, as pleasant as a person could be who was trying to throw someone out their house without force. He told me his name was Roger Fennel, but I'm not entirely sure I believe him. I don't know what to believe now.

I get a prickly sensation down my spine and shudder when I think about what's happened in this building.

Anyway, Mr. Fennel, he asked me not to call him Roger as it was far too familiar, then told me that I had to find somewhere else to stay as this building, including my flat, was under quarantine. That must be the new buzzword “quarantine”. “Something wrong over here”, “OK, just quarantine it!” “My dog's starting to look a little bit....”, “Quick, QUARANTINE it!!!!”

Tuesday 26 April 2011
14:39

Turned on the TV this morning around ten. This virus could very well be the next biggie. It's spreading at an exponential rate. The biggest part of the west coast of Scotland has experienced some sort of incident involving the virus. There doesn't seem to be any way to stop it. I'm sure there was a brief mention of an antidote or medicine that could help suppress the syptoms.

16:00

I've had the news on all day, well, for a good couple of hours, but that's as good as all day for me. Sky News has up to the minute coverage of this thing. I'm sitting watching the little bar at the bottom of the screen as it moves from right to left bringing new tales of infection from all around Scotland. Well there you have it, a nation of shite football players, artery hardened alcoholics and now an increasing tartan army of the undead. I'm sick of this bloody place!

18:00

News of the virus is spreading faster on twitter than it is in real life. Twitter isn't real life is it?

ROBBIE Robert Cooms

Heard there is a virus hitting Scotland at the moment. Not surprising, must be the black pudding suppers they have for breakfast.

1 hour ago

SOPH Sophie Heart

Just saw unprovoked attack in Riverside Inn, Ayrshire. Some idiot came in drunk and bit a guy's ear off.

40 mins ago

DEREK_BAXTER Derek Baxter

No cases of this virus in Edinburgh although AIDS is still hanging around here somewhere.

35 mins ago

BIG JACK Jack Featherman

Nothing much happening in Stonehaven, but then again, nothing ever happens here. Viral free.

28 mins ago

20:00

It's been 25 days since this thing really kicked off and it's still spreading. The authorities DON'T have it under control. Am I surprised? No. The best thing the government can do right now is stick their heads right up their collective arses and deny any responsibility. You can bet if they had it under control, they would be blowing their trumpets up and down the country.

At least Stonehaven is clear for the meantime. That's a stone's throw away from my mum and dad in Aberdeen. I'm not getting much sleep these days. I'm going to bed soon to try and make up for lost time. God knows, I need my beauty sleep.